Wiccan Children

[aislinstorm]

Merry Meet friends,

I have been having a debate with a friend for a while now. Years in fact. She believes that her children should be raised to believe the same things she believes.

I think that children should be exposed to all types of religions and, when they are old enough to understand, should be allowed to make their own choice of what they believe in.

I have many friends that are Christian (in many forms), Catholic, Mormon, or a couple that are also Wiccan. Most of them have said that their children will go to the church they choose for them.

What does everyone else think? Should I be raising my children Wiccan, or should I be letting them make their own choices?

[Fallen]

I think it is fine to raise your children under your own belief system. I think in doing so you create a common ground for your family, something you all can share. But I think it is important to encourage your children to explore other beliefs, let them make up their own mind on what they want to believe. There is no rule saying you cannot raise a child under a certain religion, and not expose them to other religions. If, when they get older they decide to follow another religion, then encourage them to do so, but meanwhile it's ok to bring them up under your own beliefs. Teach them to think for themselves and they will come to their own decisions anyway.

I was raised Catholic, my mother took both my sister and I to church every sunday, and to bible school (C.C.D. to all of you also raised Catholic) twice a week. I am glad she did. I have a basic belief system which I use as my foundation and while growing up my mother, sister, and I all had some common ground which we could come together on. When I was older I became interested in other religions, I wanted to explore. I went to different church's with my friends, exploring the religions around me. My mom was fine with this and actually encouraged me to do so. But the thing is, I started with one group of beliefs, I was then able to compare that slowly with the beliefs of others around me and decide whether my own held up or not. When they did not, I moved on. If I hadn't started out with this first foundation, I might have become overwhelmed from a young age and stopped believing altogether.

Although I was raised Catholic I was taught to think for myself. There are things about Catholicism that I love, and that I am glad I got to experience, but in the end I decided that Catholocism wasn't for me, and my mom was supportive of my decision. She herself has left the Catholic Church, but because we were both raised Catholic we had these common memmories, experiences, and values and though we have religously gone in different directions I am thankful we have a common past. It makes it easier to talk to her sometimes.

~Fallen~

[starr]

I have learned raising my child that children inevidebly end up making up there own minds about there morals, values and beliefs. We influance them, yes, but just because we beleave something does not mean they will. Honestly, I was inclined to raise my child through christianity and our church, mostly because that is our family tradition. I myself as I have gotten older have adapted more to a christian wiccan beleaf. My son has very differant views on christianity, wicca and is leaning heavily towards alchemy.

I think teaching children your personal beliefs is fine. The tricky part is knowing when to accept that they have there own minds and thoughts, and that we cannot force them to beleave or do anything. So if they explore a differant path, as long as it does not harm them, we need to let them know our love and support is unconditional.

My mom said something to me once that made alot of sense. She said people strive to raise obediant children, which turns into obediant adults and that is not good for a grown adult to be obediant. She said the goal should be to raise an adult who is capable of thinking, reasoning, has morals and ethics and knows how to make good choices. That means that there are going to be times you have a difficult child to handle if you raise them in an enviroment to teach them those traits and skills.

Some of the things that my son does drives me nuts as a parant, but I know as an adult they will be good traits. Such as persistance to get what he wants. As a parant telling my child no, you can't do this or have that, and he continues persistantly to try differant ways to gain what he is after, it makes me irritated. When he's an adult, that same persistance will make him successful in college, career, finding his dreams and reaching his goals.

I agree with fallen regarding family memories and traditions, but I agree with you in letting your children learn of all these religions. Children inevidably end up making up there own minds regardless of what we believe.

[aislinstorm]

Fallen,

I am very glad to hear of your experiences. I was raised Pentacostal. However my mother only went to church when she was single. I spent most of that time there alone. But, those are very good social memories for me as well. I attended until I was about 14 when I started to see contradictions in the sermons. I then studied a lot of different religions before I found one that made sence to me. My mother was very supportive even though she pretended not to notice I wasn't attending any more.

I believe that I have taught my children the same values I learned there and I can support them in any choice they have. My oldest son is now 14, and I am helping him to make his choice even if it is not the same as mine. He is confused by my beliefs and some of the Catholic beliefs that he has learned attending church with his great-grandmother. I can only hope that our explanations will aid him in his choices.

Starr,
I think your mother was a very wise person. This is the same things that I have been debating with friends over for years. The largest part of our debate is that she thinks that all other religions will lead to d**nation, and I don't want my children to think that if they believe anything other than what I do they are wrong. Not many people in my area are open minded to anything different.

Thank you both for your posts...it is refreshing to see others with thier minds open to other possibilites.

[qildyen]

I have been faced with a similiar situation. Both my wife and I where raised Roman Catholic. Both of us knew this was not for us, but because it was family tradition all of our kids where baptised in the Roman Catholic church. By the time it came to sign my middle child (of 3) up for CCD we decided we did not want to raise our children this way. I wanted them to be more diverse. We actually found the Uniterian Universalist Church to be a great match for us. It allowed me to practice my Pagan ways and gave us a place to go as a family to worship how ever we wanted. At our church their Sunday school for the kids talk about all different religeons depending on the week. So far its been a great match and may be for some of you.

[aislinstorm]

Gildyen,

I would love to know where I could find one of these churches. Since I live in a predominately LDS comunity it is hard to find any other church. If you know if any in Idaho let me know.

[qildyen]

Not sure where in Idaho you are but here are a few I found.

Boise UU Fellowship
Address: 6200 N Garrett St.
Boise, ID 83714-1250
Phone: [phone]
Fax: [phone]
Email: office05 @ boiseuu.org
Website: www.boiseuu.org

North Idaho UUs
Meeting Address: Harding Family Center
411 N 15th
Coeur D'alene, ID 83814
Mailing Address: P.O. Box 5312
Coeur D'alene, ID 83816-1955
Phone: [phone]
Fax: [phone]
Email: niuu @ adelphia.net
Website: home.comcast.net/~niuu

UU Church in Idaho Falls
Meeting Address: 555 E St.
Idaho Falls, ID 83402
Mailing Address: P.O. Box 50376
Idaho Falls, ID 83405-0376
Phone: [phone]
Email: minister @ idahofallsuu.org
Website: www.idahofallsuu.org

UU Church of the Palouse
Meeting Address: 420 E 2nd
Moscow, ID 83843
Mailing Address: P.O. Box 9342
Moscow, ID 83843-0117
Phone: [phone]
Email: uuchurch @ moscow.com
Website: users.moscow.com/uuchurch/

Pocatello UU Fellowship
Address: 309 N. Garfield Ave.
Pocatello, ID 83204-3138
Phone: [phone]
Email: office @ pocatellouu.org
Website: www.onewest.net/~pokyuus

Magic Valley UU Fellowship
Meeting Address: 273 Shoup Avenue West
Twin Falls, ID 83301
Mailing Address: PO Box 5171
Twin Falls, ID 83303-5171
Phone: [phone]
Email: contact @ mvuu.org
Website: www.mvuu.org

I dont know if all have a Pagan group, but as a whole most I have noticed do. Some have official CUUPS chapters but not most. CUUPS is Coven of Uniterian Universalist PaganS. But i do not see any in Idaho. Mine does not have a CUUPS chapter but does have Circle for Pagans that meets twice a month.

Hope this helps anything else please let me know.

[aislinstorm]

thank you very much...I am about an 56 miles from Boise...that is the closest one...I will have to check in on that.

[qildyen]

No problem at all.

[poppy]

hey, I was raised within the wiccan religion, I enjoyed a magical (of course) and inspirational childhood, but my family and friends who also practice have always stressed that they would love and support me if I chose a different path, I think that it is fine to raise yor children within your own belief system as long as you make it clear to them that choosing different is okay. blessed be. poppy

[aislinstorm]

Thank you for sharing Poppy...It is nice to hear of someone that was raised in the Wiccan faith. That is not heard of very often where I live.